Walking with Jesus in Responsive Obedience

It is about a week away from Ash Wednesday. This means that I am talking with God about taking on an additional practice or refraining from something that I am now doing. The forty days leading up to Easter is called Lent and Christians for centuries have used this as a season to fast, pray, or begin another spiritual discipline that would prepare the human heart for celebrating the Resurrection of Jesus at Easter.

While playing games at my dinner table the other night, one lady admitted that she was a recovering legalist or Pharisee. I don't remember if I blurted it out or just in my mind, "aren't we all!" And as I pondered how we can engage in some sort of new (or re-newed) spiritual practice during Lent, I was reminded how beneficial spiritual disciplines are if they are practiced in conversation with Jesus.

Remember that when Jesus cautions against praying in public, it was not the praying that he was correcting, but their motivation. Those who practice any spiritual discipline in order to get God or others to like them more are going the wrong direction. They do them "so that they may be seen by others" and to this, Jesus says that getting that sort of attention is their reward. (Matthew 6:5)

Here is a list of "warning signs" that are sort of like markers on a trail or road signs. These may help to alert us. These are the signs to pay attention to so that people like me - recovering legalists - can prepare for and practice disciplines in the manner of walking with Jesus in responsive obedience.

10 indications I may be turning spiritual disciplines into legalisms:

1. When in conversation with others about the disciplines I use "obligatory" language. (This sounds like "I should," "I have to," or "I ought to")

2. Those closest to me say that I've become judgmental of them, that I am obsessed with myself, that I have become less "present" or loving with them, or that I act "holier than thou."

3. I feel guilty at the end of the day if I have neglected or somehow "failed" at some spiritual discipline.

4. If, when gazing on God's face, I see a scowl and not a smile.

5. If I feel increasing anxiety and not peace.

6. When in conversation with God I use generalizations and obscurities instead of specifics. If I secretly fear that if I got totally real with God that His promise of unfailing/steadfast love would come to an abrupt end.

7. If I plot and scheme so that I can make sure to mention my practice of spiritual disciplines while in conversation with others.

8. When the simple thought of engaging in the next spiritual discipline brings dread or frustration into my mind.

9. If I have not taken the time to ask Jesus, my ever present teacher and guide, to show me how to have a whole life program that would allow me to become like him. If I have not invited him to show me explicitly which and how disciplines are to be used in my life with him.

10. If I am sacrificing good activities such as sleep, time with family and friends, or time at work because I must tackle my own transformation.

Drive and Desires - Sorting out the Mess

We returned from our 3k mile road trip and we were exhausted. However, I was also antsy to finish the audio book that consumed the last two days of our journey. Upon further reflection, I found it amusing that we listened to 3 audio books on our trip and all three of them had to do with desire, motives, and what fuels our choices, behaviors, etc... They are radically different from each other, from different genres, disciplines, and written with radically differing motives. Here is the list: Drive by Daniel Pink, Motive by Jonathan Kellerman, and Teach us to Want by Jen Pollock Michel.

It was two months ago when I started this post. The antsy feeling that I expressed about finishing the audio book after our road trip perfectly illustrates our wrestling with drives and desires. A good mystery book, as almost all Jonathan Kellerman work is, does it's job if it creates this insatiable, antsy, almost compulsive desire for resolution. We are conditioned to want the resolution and the more fiercely one wants the resolution, the better the book. The resolution of that story was good, but it was not great. I was glad that I finished it because that antsy feeling needed to go away so that I could put my full mental and emotional energy into work.

This is similar to the antsy feeling we nurture when we worry about stuff. All of us have things, projects, relationships, etc... that need resolution. We need - we desire - answers. This wrestling is natural and normal and our needs are real. However, we are far too likely to wrestling ourselves into worry instead of presenting our needs, questions, projects, relationships, etc...to God.

We are told to allow God access to all of us. We present our needs to God and because we know that God is able to sort out all of our drives and desires, we are able to be confident that we can refrain from worry. Our compulsion to fix things can be a sign that we are not living confidently in a conversational relationship with our Abba Father.

Reflect on Paul's exortation in Philippians 4:4-7: "Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice. Let your gentle be known to everyone. The Lord is near. Do not worry about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be make known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

Our worry (which is sin, by the way!) is no longer is necessary. God takes care of it all. It is also so interesting, perhaps it can be called a miracle-wonder, that after we release our questions and projects, asking God to take care of it, we see things sorted out. We are given great peace.

Rule 51

It is my experience that generally people either over use or under use the words "I'm sorry."

In my youth, I was a compulsive "I'm sorry"-er. Now, as an adult, I have recognized that authentic, deep sorrow plagues my soul when I find that from my action or inaction, I have wronged another. I am now embarrassed to admit that there were years of my life where I was unable or unwilling to admit that I was wrong.

I am admitting it now. I have been miserably wrong and careless with relationships. I am deeply grieved that this is true, but it is.

Leroy Jethro Gibbs would say that apologizing is a sign of weakness (rule 6). However, even more true than that is rule 51: "Sometimes you're wrong!" (For you non-NCIS fans, you can find Gibbs rules with a quick internet search.)

There are two extreme reactions that happen when one person offends another: attack and hide. Neither of them are loving and neither of them invite God's transformation. Having deep sorrow for being the offender is the first step, the next few steps include confession, and an attempt at making amends (in the spirit of Romans 12:18 "as far as it depends on me"), and then, it requires new thoughts and a new heart. All of this is part of learning the kind of love that Jesus has for all of us. How good it is that we have a teacher (Jesus....not Gibbs!) who is always more willing to teach, lead, and infill us than we can fathom

It is not a shock that Jesus includes this essential request as part of the prayer that he taught his disciples: "forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us."

We need that prayer and the repeated reminder that resources for forgiveness come from Jesus.

God's Word is the Best Meal in Town

A couple of weeks ago, there were several e-mails about free food that appeared in my inbox. I was in Tennessee when I received these messages so I couldn't show up to get this free food. However, I remember thinking "who would pass up on the opportunity for free food?" A few days later, my family of origin gathered around the card tables in my mom's 20' x 20' double-wide mobile home living room, this thought came back to me. "This is some really excellent food...better than any restaurant and it is FREE....and I didn't even have to cook it. WOW!!!"

The thought occurred to me again as I could not sleep this morning around 4 a.m. The Hebrew prophet Isaiah's words were wrestling in my mind. God's word is like that. It has a way of sticking with you like good food. Hours after you digest it, you remember it and you can even re-experience it moving you to do something different or to form a new intention. One intention that I have for this new year is to ABIDE in God's word as His word is ever so faithful to abide in me. (Here is a great song-video, the Sower's Song, by Andrew Peterson)

These are the words from Isaiah 55 that were wrestling in me this morning:

v. 1-3
Come, everyone who thirsts,
come to the waters;
and he who has no money, 
come, buy wine and milk
without money and without price.

Why do you spend your money for that which is not bread,
and your labor for that which does not satisfy?
Listen diligently to me, and eat what is good,
and delight yourselves in rich food.
Incline your ear, and come to me;
hear, that your soul may live;
and I will make with you an everlasting covenant,
my steadfast, sure love for David.

v. 10-13
For as the rain and the snow come down from heaven
and do not return there but water the earth,
making it bring forth and sprout,
giving seed to the sower and bread to the eater,
so shall my word be that goes out from my mouth;
it shall not return to me empty,
but it shall accomplish that which I purpose,
and shall succeed in the thing for which I sent it.
For you shall go out in joy
and be led forth in peace;
the mountains and the hills before you
shall break forth into singing,
and all the trees of the field shall clap their hands.
Instead of the thorn shall come up the cypress;
instead of the brier shall comp up the myrtle;
and it shall make a name for the Lord,
an everlasting sign that shall not be cut off.

The prophet calls the Hebrew people to take, eat, digest and fully experience the transforming power of God's word. There is such power in God's word. This morning as I was listening to God's word going out into our community, I added my prayers to it. Our annual Breathitt County Bible Reading Marathon features a Genesis-Revelation non-stop for four days public reading. Jackson Community Church opens their facilities and the speaker outdoors broadcasts it right downtown, diagonally across from the county court house. People from around 80 area churches join together to make this happen and the cooperation and cordiality that it has fostered is simply outstanding. Folks have included me as one of their own even though I do not have a super cool accent and read from a different translation of scripture.

While I have been there a lot of early morning hours over the last few days, I have been adding my prayers to the words of Isaiah, Jeremiah, Jesus, and Paul. I pray that all who have the seed of the Word sown in them would be receptive. I pray that the Holy Spirit would till the soil of hearts and that people might be hungry for real life change. We have been given the best, most nutritious food, and it truly satisfies! I'm hungry for it....are you?

Post-Election

It has been a week since the election and, in spite of my best intentions, I have failed to blog about how I experience this 24 hour period. The picture says it all: I prayed and challenged others to pray. OCA serves as a polling place, so there were signs VOTE HERE TODAY. I decided to open our sanctuary for drop in prayer all day. I made and hung a sign PRAY HERE TODAY. I spent the majority of my day in the sanctuary praying. There were some that came and joined me. 

It reminded me that our world cannot trust in political parties or candidates or even democracy. Our allegience is to Jesus and we align ourselves with Him and learn from him in all of life. We cling to Jesus!

********************RE-POST FROM BOARD OF BISHOPS, FMC***********************
The world woke up on Wednesday morning to the surprising news of a Trump victory. Some Free Methodists cried; some Free Methodists celebrated. But even those who celebrated did so with grave concerns over the moral demise of this country. To those who cried, it seemed the end of life as we know it.
May we, as your bishops, offer words of orientation and encouragement to the church:

1) Followers of Jesus are good citizens and patriots, but our primary citizenship is in the kingdom of our God; He is our Lord. Neither our identity, our success or our failure is tied to any particular political party, politician or country. We are “supra-citizens” with as much concern for the well-being of all countries as for our own.

So what? We are neither elated nor discouraged by what happens to our government; Jesus is Lord. Be at peace.

2) Followers of Jesus win by losing. Perhaps that’s stating it too crudely, but Jesus won by dying, and we live by serving. Followers of Jesus do not grasp power as the world knows it. We don’t win by imposition of laws or morality. We win by inside-out transformations of men and women, families and communities.

So what? Nothing significant was won or lost in the elections. Everything of eternal significance is being gained through a powerless process of transformation. Be at peace.

3) The church of Jesus thrives in persecution. The church rarely thrives when the church has no opposition. In our self-sufficiency, we are led to the delusion of thinking we are gods.

So what? The church is willing to suffer if it purifies us and enables stronger witness to the power of Jesus in our lives. Be at peace in the suffering.

4) In a world of anger, division and strife, followers of Jesus must be agents of reconciliation, Peter would name us “priests.” Seek to know people who are different, befriend them, and defend them against aggressors.

So what? Demonstrate that the lives of those different from us matter. If we are white, that means that black lives matter. It means persons of other religions, even Islam, matter. It means that those who voted other than you in the recent election, matter. Be at peace.

5) In a world of anger and violence that spins into scary and vengeful cycles, terrorizes people and cannibalizes humanity, we will not live that way — not face-to-face and not on social media. We love our enemies. We pray for our persecutors. We pay back good for evil. We calmly and prophetically seek the grace to love peace and to make peace, even if it kills us, trusting Jesus’ word that making peace marks the makers as children of God.

So what? Be at peace.

6) In obedience to the Scriptures, we pray for those in authority over us — civil (Romans) and spiritual (Hebrews). Rather than complain, or argumentatively resist leadership on every level, we understand that our best posture is submission and seeking God’s will to be realized not only for our leaders but through them. We believe, as John Wesley himself was convinced, that God does much if not everything He does in answer to prayer. So what? Let’s pray — alone, in our churches, with those we love and with those who view life and politics differently.

Free Methodists come from an activist tradition. We pay attention to our cultural context, and we advocate for good. We denounce evil in all its forms and engage in every way, including politics, to make the world more pleasing to the God and Father of all humankind. As your bishops, we are not advocating withdrawal from the world or some kind of numbing of our citizenship responsibilities. We are simply reminding ourselves of our ultimate citizenship, our ultimate loyalty, our ultimate hope and our ultimate peace.

Board of Bishops
Free Methodist Church – USA

Obedience is thicker than blood in the Kingdom of God - Luke 12:49-56

Michelle Carter won the gold medal in Rio last week by shot putting 20.63 meters which is 67.68 feet. This is amazing!  This was her 3rd Olympics and she is the first woman from the United States to win gold in the shot put. She was a surprise champion. Among the other amazing things about this is that her father is her coach. He expressed his pride in her accomplishment and was ecstatic as he shared her glory as her coach. He said, "As parents, we jump for joy, are happy, but as her coach, I'm responsible for what happens when she fails. But she finally succeeded. The coach has retired for this year and the dad is now just walking around happy, with his chest stuck out."

It strikes me that a family such as the Carters are much like all families. It is clear that they love one another. They have values, priorities, and a way of communicating that. It could be said that the members of the Carter family treasure one another and they also treasure shot putting.

Jesus' words in Luke 12:49-56 are hard because we also treasure our families. We are encouraged to do so by our families, by our society, and even by our Judeo-Christian faith. 


“I came to bring fire to the earth, and how I wish it were already kindled! I have a baptism with which to be baptized, and what stress I am under until it is completed! Do you think that I have come to bring peace to the earth? No, I tell you, but rather division! From now on five in one household will be divided, three against two and two against three;they will be divided: father against son and son against father, mother against daughter and daughter against mother, mother-in-law against her daughter-in-law and daughter-in-law against mother-in-law.”

He also said to the crowds, “When you see a cloud rising in the west, you immediately say, ‘It is going to rain’; and so it happens. And when you see the south wind blowing, you say, ‘There will be scorching heat’; and it happens. You hypocrites! You know how to interpret the appearance of earth and sky, but why do you not know how to interpret the present time?'"

This scripture is doubly hard because, at first glance, with only a superficial reading of it, Jesus seems to contradict other scriptures that tell us that peace is offered to us through His word and work in our lives. (By the way, these are some very favorite scriptures of mine) These passages seem to say the very opposite of what Jesus is saying in Luke 12:49-56. Consider these:

Philippians 4:6-7 - Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Isaiah 26:3 - You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you.

John 14:27 -  Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

It is possible to hold all of this together at the same time. In fact, these truths are all essential in understanding the nature of discipleship and obedience.

Jesus introduces his followers here in Luke 12:49-56 to the basic, shocking fact that obedience is thicker than blood. He is now heading toward Jerusalem where he will be immersed in difficulty. The truth that Jesus has proclaimed, has lived, and is inviting us into demands our absolute ALL. His way has to become our way. If Jesus' way becomes our primary loyalty, we are headed for fire.It is inevitable that those who are closest to us - even our family members- will want us to follow their values, their priorities, their goals. There are times that this brings crises. We are given a choice, will we choose our family's way or will we follow Jesus' way? Will we accept radical change in our lives which mean that we end up "treasuring" that which seems a little ridiculous to those who are most dear to us?Even though this seems shocking, it has a ring of truth. To those listening to this for the first time, to the disciples, they would know that they had indeed left their families to follow. For instance, James and John, the sons of Zebedee heard Jesus call right there in their fishing boat with their dad. They literally left their dad in the boat, left the family enterprise of fishing,the priorities and values of their father, to become Jesus' apprentices. It is obvious that Zebedee would not have agreed or understood such a shocking and maybe even disrespectful act. He very well might have thought and said, "My sons hate me!"

John Wesley's covenant prayer gives us a way of understanding and praying this hard reality. We embrace Jesus call and sometimes this means being emptied or abandoned. However, it is true that as we walk with Jesus, he provides everything that we need. Here is the prayer: "Make us what you will Lord, and send us where we are to go. Let us be vessels of silver or gold, or vessels of wood or stone; as long as we are vessels of honor we are content. If we are not the head or the eye or the ear, one of the nobler or more honorable instruments, then let us be the hands, or the feet, as one of the lowest and least esteemed of all the servants of our Lord. Lord, place us in your kingdom in roles you have designed for us. Lord make all of us your servants. In exalted places, or humble places. Let us be full, let us be empty. Let us have all things, let us have nothing. We freely and gladly embrace our places in your kingdom."

Jesus Speaks and It is Done - Recap of Luke 6:46-8:39

Disease, death, and demons know Jesus. We follow Jesus around as he faces the great threats to human existence and to human flourishing. None of these are a match for Jesus. People in these stories call him a prophet, they call him "Master." His words and work cause us wonder and amazement. We know that it is beyond what we see in others. We even look at him facing the boiling cauldron of sea with the whispering rumors of evil that abides there and he simply speaks and the wind and waves become calm. The disciples in the boat are wondering "who then is this that the wind and waves obey him?" Yes, creation has always obeyed God's spoken word. We look around at the incredible life change that Jesus brings to ourselves and to those around us, it is clear that it must be the work of God.

Photo by Erin Cook taken of "bonus" sunflowers planted by God
 with the cooperation of the birds, August 2015.

 By words, God’s power goes out to accomplish His purposes:

Creation: 

Genesis 1:2-26 “God said…and it was so. God saw that it was good”

Hebrews 11:3 “By faith we understand that the worlds were prepared by the word of God, so that what is seen was made from things that are not visible.”

2 Peter 3:5 “They deliberately ignore this fact, that by the word of God heavens existed long ago and an earth was formed out of water”

Creation is sustained and ordered:

Colossian 1:16-17 “for in him all things in heaven and on earth were created, things visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or powers – all things have been created through him and for him. He himself is before all things and in him all things hold together.”

Re-Creation which is healing:

Galatians 1:4, the Lord Jesus Christ, “who gave himself for our sins to set us free from the present evil age”

1 Peter 1:23 “You have been born anew, not of perishable but of imperishable seed, through the living and enduring word of God.”

John 17:17 “Sanctify them in the truth; your word is truth”

Jesus speaks into our hearts and we have a choice. Will we listen to His word, will we accept His word, and will we see that the purposes of God are truly good news to us? Will we become responsive and obedient people? Will we invite this kind of re-creating compassion into our lives and open our lives as lights on a stand so that the whole world might see the great offer of abundant life in God's kingdom?

Experimenting with Infused Water on our Porch

Questions that we bat around on the front porch: What is ours to do in making the world a better place? How do we offer a safe place and invite people into conversations? Are we telling our stories and listening to others as they also have stories to tell? What if the other person's story makes us want to run away and hide? What kind of person would I need to be in order to make sitting with people and deeply listening to them possible? Is it possible and desirable to become such a person?

Heather has been my neighbor next door for a while now. We do not really hang out on the porch much....until recently. She is a generous and gracious person and noticing that I got super excited about infusing water earlier this summer offered her old mason jar to me for my new hobby. As we were talking one day, it suddenly emerged this idea of offering infused water for our community.

Every day, I slice stuff and put it along with ice and water in the jug and set it out on the front porch. Just in the last few weeks, there has been a lot of good conversation and stories around the water on the porch. I decided to add a conversation starter/trivia/scripture/practice for the day there in case people wanted another kind of infusion along with the water.

Here is a sample: (starting with the concept of hospitality for obvious reasons) Orange-Pineapple - conversation starter: recall and share a story of a time when someone showed you extraordinary hospitality. Cantaloupe and cucumber - exercise: today listen twice as much as you speak. Reflect on this exercise. Was it easy or hard? Did you learn anything about yourself? Share these insights with someone and notice if they listen.

This Dream, Between the World and Me by Ta-Nehisi Coates

The pressure behind my eyes was fierce. Tears had been flowing for a long time. It felt like all day, but maybe it was just a half hour or so. I couldn't convince my tear ducts to quit, but the headache was on the verge of unbearable.

I was reading Ta-Nehisi Coates' Between the World and Me. As part of my required reading for book club, ironically, since my dissertation reading has ceased, I have read more than a few frivolous books such as this one dealing with the evils of racism. He recounts from his perspective racism in this county. It is his personal account written as a letter to his 15 year old son. It depicts how black bodies have been, in the history of our country, enslaved, locked up, raped, and murdered. He tells how he has witnessed the lack of responsibility taken and lack of real justice done in his lifetime, with his family, and friends. He speaks of the Dream that we have of our country being a place of justice and freedom and how all of us will go to great lengths to preserve the dream even when we suspect that it really is a lie.

He acknowledges the temptation to turn away, to run and hide, to try to debunk these realities as anomalies. If we are tempted to look away and dismiss these realities, we are at a place of transformation. Listening to the news stories from riots in Baltimore and Furgeson, MO can be difficult and the high profile cases of Michael Brown and Trayvon Martin is difficult. But, if you (and I) are white and if you say you follow Jesus, this is not your time to run away and hide. This is your time to listen. It is our time to pull up a chair and listen. What if we listened without making excuses or becoming defensive or dismissing it as "their fault?"

Listening to Ta-Nehisi Coates' story was torture for me, but I did it and I'm glad I did. I'm glad I did because it reminds me that I have so much to learn. I have a lot to learn from African Americans and I'm intending for them to increasingly become my teachers. They are under no obligation to become my teachers....they do not owe me anything. It is the other way around. I owe them a love that begins by listening. We all, as Coates suggests, have a capacity to become haters. We must face our own capacity to plunder and to separate ourselves from those who are not like us. Hate gives identity. (page 60) I'm surrendering my Dream and I am laying my own capacity to run, distance, plunder, and hate firmly in the loving arms of Jesus. I'm convinced that if anyone can re-order my heart, my community, and this world, it is him and his love.

One cat, one dog, and three rodents

It is spring break so most of my neighbors are in exotic locations: Florida, North Carolina, Tennessee or Illinois. I have been here finishing a project and by default, became responsible for pet sitting. I rather enjoy it really. There is no glamour in it, though. Yesterday, I put my hand through the hole in order to feed the rodents. One of them darted for the opening and startled me half to death. I spilled their food and made it out alive. The rodent did not escape. Mission accomplished.

I’m willing to provide for these various animals because I realize the value of doing small gestures of love for my neighbors. I show up because I can do the job and I am willing to do it.

There are times when I have to say “no” to requests. I may be able to do the job, however it may not be mine to do. There may be other, more glamorous jobs, that I have to decline. Recently, I’ve been talking to God a lot about this. In many decisions, big and small, I am learning how to be a good steward of my time and of my influence. It is no mystery why Jesus gives us that teaching about allowing our “yes” to be “yes” and our “no” to be “no” (Matthew 5:37).

Perhaps, left to our own devices, we would never face this perennial challenge of our own dominion. It is at the basic level of what it means to be human. Male and female were made in the image of God. We are told that we have a say. We have dominion. We are in charge of stuff. We have a realm of influence. Furthermore, when we acknowledge this and realize that we need help, God is more than happy to give us his presence and power (Philippians 4:13). Strength does not come from one’s body necessarily, but from God. Indeed, when ordinary men and women embody the power and presence of God in their everyday experiences, the extraordinary happens.

A few days ago, I had a unique opportunity to worship at a historic black church in my area. “This little light of mine, I’m gonna let it shine…hide it under a bush, oh, no, I’m gonna let it shine, let it shine let it shine.” The words of the song were sung by young and old, black and white, male and female. There is real power in seeing our own power. In terms of social power, the little three year old girl sitting in front of me had very little, yet, when she needed to go to the restroom, she used the power of her voice to communicate her need. She has a voice and she has the ability to shine.

This journey with God has showed me how much influence I have. I am challenged every day to partner with God and become a better steward of my influence. This very popular phrase “man-up” is one that I am re-considering. Men and women alike need God's power to use influence in a way that is good. Now, I am giving all those around me the charge to recognize how much influence you really have. God has given us a powerful imperative. It is a recommendation or maybe even a command given to all of my friends who may feel like they have very little spheres of influence. It is tempting to buy that lie. However, you must resist it as being just that. You have great power and great influence. Now, it is your time, my sisters, to “woman-up” and claim your place in your everyday life. You have the ability to shine.    

Plunging and Praying

My left hand found the plunger without looking and in no time the task was complete.  The stuff in the toilet had been there a while and, having had no success at plunging it herself, a teenage girl became desperate enough to call on the dorm parent.  “Mrs. M-P the toilet is clogged again.”  I reply, “of course it is, I’ll be right there.”  I have been a dorm parent for three years and have plunged more than a few times a week.  Nowadays, I am also serving as pastor along with being a dorm dean. The request for my expert plunging always serves as a call to prayer. My husband, Will, calls this routine plunging and praying.  My prayer comes out in the form of singing.  10,000 Reasons, by Matt Redman, is my most frequent praying and plunging song.  It is loosely based on Psalm 103 which states:

“Bless the Lord, O my soul,

   and all that is within me,

   bless his holy name.

Bless the Lord, O my soul,

  and do not forget all his benefits –

who forgives all your iniquity,

who heals all your diseases,

who redeems your life from the Pit,

who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy,

who satisfies you with good as long as you live

So that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.”

It is as though the Psalmist is coaching or singing to himself.  How often our own souls need coaching! Remembering God and all of God’s good actions toward us, with us, and in us, we reconnect with what is supremely true.  This re-rooting the soul is the best kind of coaching that we can do for ourselves.    

The sight and smell of a clogged toilet is a reminder that life can stink.  Pain, frustration, and chaos cannot be avoided.  However, in each mess that I encounter, I hear the invitation of One who entered the mess of humanity to bring hope and healing.  The stuff in the toilet is going to pass. The mess is not ultimate. So, I've decided to face this particular mess with prayer because on my own, “blessing” seems far from clogged toilets. When I re-root and claim the truth in the midst of the mess through my praying and plunging, I am partnering with God. I remember and claim once more the most real and unchanging truth about my life.  It is God.  It is God’s abundant goodness and kindness to me and to all of us that sustains us.  At the end of the day, regardless of the stinky mess, I can sing praise to a God who is intimately present in all of life.

Life in the Kingdom of God is like ordering and eating a hoagie

While my classmates were musing about how there seems to be a disconnection between what people who claim to be Christians say that they believe and what they actually practice in reality, I decided to raise my hand and weigh in with my two cents.

Instead of two cents, a comparison came out that, in the end, turned out to be a fairly accurate evaluation (in my opinion!) of the malaise, the non-active, life that some live.

It is like a hoagie.  Say you go to a restaurant and you are with your friend.  The friend asks what you will order and you say a hoagie.  The menu depicts a scrumptious heap of meat, onion, peppers, cheese, and tomatoes atop a thick roll.  It looks good.  The friend assumes that you had the hoagie before since your recommended it to him or her.  Both you and your friends get these scrumptious looking hoagies delivered right to you in moments.  Your friend waits for you to begin, but you are stunned.  You just recommended and ordered something you have no intention of eating. 

If a scrumptious hoagie is set in front of you, you eat it, right?  It could be said that those who claim to believe and yet have never really practiced walking with Jesus is the person who orders and perhaps recommends something (the belief without serious intention to follow) without having any real experiential knowledge of it.  A lot of people “order” or say that they “believe” in Jesus, but the truth of the matter is that a lot of those same people have not seriously intended to ingest His way so that it becomes their way.  Imagine the hoagie sitting there and after a while it no longer looks scrumptious.  Because hoagies are made and ordered so that they can be incorporated into your body…making the substance of the meat, veggies, and bread real to you.

What would it take to convince us that it is worth it?  Why isn't God’s reality and God’s goodness the most real reality of our lives? 

Do you and I see in Jesus (and God, the Father), One who is worth going after like a pearl merchant who had searched all of his life for that one pearl and finally, finding it, thought it nothing to sell all that he had in order to go and buy that one?

(read Jesus’ parable of the kingdom in Matthew 13)  

The Kingdom of God is like kudzu

Jesus always spoke of stuff that was right at his fingertips and along my journey through the kudzu on the trail this last fall, I had the notion that if Jesus was taking the trail with me he might have been using the kudzu to teach me a lesson about living in the kingdom of God.

Those of you who do not live in the south may not realize that this thing called kudzu was introduced here about 50 years in order take care of some environmental problem.  Since then, it has covered every possible vacant spot and it continues to grow.  It grows by runners which means that it is all connected.  Think about it this way:  this deciduous monstrous plant has spread to cover multiple states (Georgia, Alabama, Tennessee, South Carolina, Kentucky, ect...you get the idea) and now is thought by some experts to be the largest organism on our planet.

Here is my mock parable and thanks to Shiny Samuel there are a couple of pictures for you to enjoy.

The Kingdom and Kudzu

The kingdom of God is like kudzu

          strong

                   sturdy

                             steady

          beautiful

                   bold  

                             bursting with flowers

          treasured by some

                   total annoyance to others

                             taste and see, is it good?

          hides at times

                   huddling from view

                             how do we perceive it in winter time?

          inviting

                   inhaling

                             ingesting

          dancing

                   delighting

                             daily

Learning to live in the Kingdom of God...part 2, "Possibility of Joy"

An interesting thing happens when one has a blog that sits dormant for over a year!  As I reconsidered reviving-resurrecting it from dormant status, I re-read some of my posts.  Interestingly, one of my most recent posts was an excerpt from St. Teresa of Avila.  At that time I was reading the portion that is including in the Foster and Smith's compilation of Devotional Classics.  The Interior Castle truly does fit into the category of "classic" and now that I have read it in its entirety, I noticed that even Foster and Smith comment about it being a difficult read.  I'm relieved that I have read and processed (notice that I didn't say I necessarily understood or have fully experienced) the content.  Several parts of it ring true for me and I wanted to share them within the context of this series of blogs about "learning to live in the Kingdom of God."

• sin is poisonous (eating nasty burritos out of the alley garbage can will result in bad health), yet when one is only used to sin, when sin has become habitual, we become what we hate (Psalm 115:  those who make idols, treasure them and eventually become like them).
• grace allows us to see who we are (belonging to God and having an eternal destiny as one who radiant in His Kingdom) and what we have become (consuming so many nasty burritos that we become a nasty burrito of self-rule).
• progress is ongoing and is ever God's doing when we are in relationship with Him, in humility we grow in self-knowledge which in turn increases our gratitude, humility, peace and joy.
• one can actually get glimpses of progress, especially in hindsight, (for instance, at one point in time, one might have been in denial that nasty burritos are indeed NASTY, and having such a fondness for them and such thick denial not be able to see reality that is obviously present)
• one may be able to see the fruit of progress in the form of loving others especially those who are difficult to love or in freedom and in self-forgetfulness
• union with God brings great joy...bliss!

Prayer:  God, thanks for giving us grace upon grace!  We do not deserve it and cannot even fathom the depth, length  breadth  and height of it.  You are incredible and we want to abandon all to you so we look to Jesus to show us how.  Please teach us and slowly because we are slow and some of life's greatest lessons can only be learned slowly.

Learning to live in the Kingdom of God....part 1, "John 2 or half eaten burritos of self-rule"

It took me a long while to convince him that those deep fat fried burritos from the convenience stores were really NASTY!  Like other foods that are consumed mostly for their convenience (processed cheese food, french fries, canned ham, etc...), they contain no or very little real food.  This is my argument:  "It may taste good, but it is not satisfying and not nutritious."  Will, the to whom I am married, and me on occasion will eat such things and when we do, it is always with full awareness.  "Do you want some mechanically separated chicken parts, or a nasty burrito...?" we say.

Contrasting these NOT real food is the fine fare that is served at banquets, fine restaurants  and weddings.  While reading John 2 and encountering Jesus at a wedding in Cana a thought occurred to me.  Jesus just showed up and with Him the reality of the kingdom of God.  Anything is possible (water turning into wine) where Jesus is and those who choose to be with Him, watching Him, in relationship with Him will always have their needs met.  Life with Him is nutritious and satisfying.  Here is a little of Psalm 145, the message paraphrase, which paints such a beautiful picture of life in the Kingdom of God:        

Your kingdom is a kingdom eternal;    

     you never get voted out of office.

    

God always does what he says,

     and is gracious in everything he does.

    

God gives a hand to those down on their luck,

     gives a fresh start to those ready to quit.

All eyes are on you, expectant;

       you give them their meals on time.

Generous to a fault,

  

       you lavish your favor on all creatures.

Everything God does is right—

 

    

     the trademark on all his works is love.

God’s there, listening for all who pray,

       for all who pray and mean it.

So the question would remain, why are you and I sometimes slow to choose that which is satisfying (living in the Kingdom of God) and that which is nutritious (the lavishness of His love and way for us)?  In my honest moments, when I'm telling the truth to myself and to God, I have to admit that one little thing that keeps me from remaining satisfied with nutritious food is this pesky remaining chunk of pride.  It is wanting to be in charge of my own life...wanting to do things my way!  Surrendering and relying on Jesus does feel like work sometime. There are days when it is such a battle because on one hand I want to see God's abundance and live in it (feasting at the wedding with fine wine) and yet there is this part of me that seems to be rummaging through the back alley garbage dumpster thinking that the half eaten burrito of self rule is somehow tastier?!

The words of Mary in John 2:5 encapsulate surrender and this is my prayer:  "do whatever Jesus says!"  Yes,  may it be your way, Jesus, my guide, teacher, Savior, and King.

"Rules" for living in community

Those who have chosen to live in community frequently develop a "rule."  This document outlines what it looks like to live in community with others and what each person commits to as he or she is deciding to join the community.  St. Benedict's rule is fascinating.  It says that a person wanting to join the community can be left on the steps for up to a week being given a little bit of food here and there.  Imagine getting the idea you may want to join a Benedictine community, walking there with only a bag slung over your shoulder, and knocking on the massive door of the monastery.  "Do you want to be a Benedictine?" the person says.  You reply, "yes, of course, that is why I came."  The person slams the door and says "you are not ready, but you can wait there until you are ready, if you wish."  The next day, someone throws you a scrap of bread and a similar conversation happens.  The Benedictines figured that only those who REALLY want to be Benedictines would suffer in body and spirit in this way. 

Living in community takes humility.  "Rules" and obedience in deference to others is not popular even among those who claim to walk in the way of Jesus.  Perhaps even for some (I'm in this category) who REALLY want to live in community, who really want to be obedient, who really desire to stand in God's presence in the company of others, actually doing it means letting go.  It means that body, mind and heart are disciplined. 

My daily experience is that of being humbled.  Will I walk in the way of Jesus and accept the humbling with Jesus? 

"Let all of you then live together in oneness of mind and heart, mutually honoring in yourselves the God whose temples you have become."  from the Rule of St. Augustine found on http://www.midwestaugustinians.org/prayerrule.html.  The Augustinian heritage quiz is fairly easy.  My new found humility prevents me from telling you my score

Hands

St. Augustine says:  "God gives where he finds empty hands."  I searched for an appropraite "cupped hands" photo on microsoft free clip art site and the majority of the picutres were of communion cups or coffee cups. I also modified my new "wounded hearts beholding God" (blog title) from St. Augustine.  He had a profound appreciation for confession and I have found his work entitled just that to be refreshing.  There is no pretense or pretending with him.  The empty hand image is one I like very much and often as I pray my palms will be open and lifted slightly up.  As to speak to God even with my body language that I want nothing more than to sit and receive.

Self-knowledge must never be abandoned

St. Teresa of Avila says:  "This path of self knowledge must never be abandoned, nor is there on this journey a soul so much a giant that it has no need to return often to the stage of an infant and a suckling....Along this path of prayer, self knowledge and the thought of one's sins is the bread with which all palates must be fed no matter how delicate they may be;  they cannot be sustained without this bread"

This may sound sort of twisted, but it is true.  We cannot pretend to be better than we are.  As you and I come face to face with the messiness that within us, there is nowhere else for us to go but the throne of grace.  Not turning these things over to God will ultimately make our lives all the more messy.  Yet, if we are brave enough, when we confess, we are fed.  It is only when we come forward with honesty that we find our Heavenly Father who is open-armed.  If we pretend that there is nothing wrong with us then we will not know His embrace.  We will not hear these words of truth:  "The Lord is merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love." (Psalm 103:8)

C.S. Lewis says:  "lay before Him what is in us, not what ought to be in us."

Actual Life

This blog has been around for eight years.  It's hard to believe how time flies.  This time of year always demands an increase in evaluation.  As pastors know, January is premium time to retreat as I had the practice of doing for many years.  Part of my retreat would include some sort of self-examination.  There is some discomfort in this practice, that is if you really hold your life before God and ask his search light to reveal the mess and the marvels of life.  This kind of self-examination because of its intensity will result in real confession.  Yet, there are periods in our lives when we say with the Psalmist: "Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my thoughts.  See if there is any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting"(Psalm 139:23-24) and after entering into this prayer, we find something similar to an internal fire alarm sounding.  Though we think we want to confess, we are scared to death to face to face with the caverns and crevices of sin soaked garbage and filth that hides most of the time.  These hidden sins ooze out in unguarded moments when our tact meter is not fully functioning. 

This post is a form of confession.  Pretending is what I have done so often.  It has become a habit.  What will God find as I offer my heart to Him for examination?  What uncomfortable truth have I been pretending doesn't exist? 

One reality that I'm living with is that I no longer am a pastor.  I do not have pastoral charge over a congregation. (I do preach in a variety of country churches in our area about twice a month.)  One of my defining "identities" has slipped away.  This fact still grieves me after two years of having taken a leave of absence.  I must confess that this is part of my woundedness. 

I have decided to retitle this blog to match my actual life and not my previous life.  Do not worry!  I am not going to change it back if I so happen to be lead by God back into pastoring again.  My identity is more firmly in God now and very loosely in a title, job, or occupation.    

Youth is renewed

G.K. Chesterton's idea about God's creativity has captured my imagination. Creation is God's repeated action of goodness. It is a routine God has in order to bless us. Chesterton compares God to children when they find a particular game or joke that they like they say, "do it again," until the grown up is exhausted of it. He goes on to say that perhaps it is because "grown-up people are not strong enough to exult in monotony. But perhaps God is strong enough to exult in monotony. It is possible that God says every morning, 'do it again' to the sun; and every evening, 'do it again' to the moon. It may not be automatic necessity that makes all daisies alike; it may be that God made every daisy separately, but has never got tired of making them. It may be that He has the eternal appetite of infancy; for we have sinned and grown old, and our Father is younger than we...Heaven may encore...."

Now standing in a pile of yellow, brown, orange crumpled leaves, I look up and see all of the sky. I hear the gees squawk and feel the gusting of the chilly air. The clap of the falling leaves make me think that God is encoring. The turning of the seasons never grows monotonous for me. Sometimes I need reminding that patterns and routines can be enjoyed. God invites us into routines as we live in relationship with Him and sometimes it may seem sort of chaotic and other times may seem very monotonous. Yet, God is always creating and re-creating us from the inside out. It is his routine to create and bless and He never gets tired of it.

Weariness and aging happens as we turn away from God's creating and recreating in us. We turn grumpy and resentful when we do not ask for God's energy and vitality for our day to day living. If we do not invite God, we will "turn old" before our time.

God offers us a renewed, energy giving, life sustaining source that is never exhausted:
"Bless the Lord, O my soul, and all that is within me, bless his holy name. Bless the Lord, O my soul, and do not forget all his benefits, who forgives all your iniquities, who heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit, who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy, who satisfies you with good as long as you live.
So that your youth is renewed like the eagles. (Psalm 103:1-5)