Learning to live in the Kingdom of God....part 1, "John 2 or half eaten burritos of self-rule"

It took me a long while to convince him that those deep fat fried burritos from the convenience stores were really NASTY!  Like other foods that are consumed mostly for their convenience (processed cheese food, french fries, canned ham, etc...), they contain no or very little real food.  This is my argument:  "It may taste good, but it is not satisfying and not nutritious."  Will, the to whom I am married, and me on occasion will eat such things and when we do, it is always with full awareness.  "Do you want some mechanically separated chicken parts, or a nasty burrito...?" we say.

Contrasting these NOT real food is the fine fare that is served at banquets, fine restaurants  and weddings.  While reading John 2 and encountering Jesus at a wedding in Cana a thought occurred to me.  Jesus just showed up and with Him the reality of the kingdom of God.  Anything is possible (water turning into wine) where Jesus is and those who choose to be with Him, watching Him, in relationship with Him will always have their needs met.  Life with Him is nutritious and satisfying.  Here is a little of Psalm 145, the message paraphrase, which paints such a beautiful picture of life in the Kingdom of God:        

Your kingdom is a kingdom eternal;    

     you never get voted out of office.

    

God always does what he says,

     and is gracious in everything he does.

    

God gives a hand to those down on their luck,

     gives a fresh start to those ready to quit.

All eyes are on you, expectant;

       you give them their meals on time.

Generous to a fault,

  

       you lavish your favor on all creatures.

Everything God does is right—

 

    

     the trademark on all his works is love.

God’s there, listening for all who pray,

       for all who pray and mean it.

So the question would remain, why are you and I sometimes slow to choose that which is satisfying (living in the Kingdom of God) and that which is nutritious (the lavishness of His love and way for us)?  In my honest moments, when I'm telling the truth to myself and to God, I have to admit that one little thing that keeps me from remaining satisfied with nutritious food is this pesky remaining chunk of pride.  It is wanting to be in charge of my own life...wanting to do things my way!  Surrendering and relying on Jesus does feel like work sometime. There are days when it is such a battle because on one hand I want to see God's abundance and live in it (feasting at the wedding with fine wine) and yet there is this part of me that seems to be rummaging through the back alley garbage dumpster thinking that the half eaten burrito of self rule is somehow tastier?!

The words of Mary in John 2:5 encapsulate surrender and this is my prayer:  "do whatever Jesus says!"  Yes,  may it be your way, Jesus, my guide, teacher, Savior, and King.