In my youth, I was a compulsive "I'm sorry"-er. Now, as an adult, I have recognized that authentic, deep sorrow plagues my soul when I find that from my action or inaction, I have wronged another. I am now embarrassed to admit that there were years of my life where I was unable or unwilling to admit that I was wrong.
I am admitting it now. I have been miserably wrong and careless with relationships. I am deeply grieved that this is true, but it is.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs would say that apologizing is a sign of weakness (rule 6). However, even more true than that is rule 51: "Sometimes you're wrong!" (For you non-NCIS fans, you can find Gibbs rules with a quick internet search.)
There are two extreme reactions that happen when one person offends another: attack and hide. Neither of them are loving and neither of them invite God's transformation. Having deep sorrow for being the offender is the first step, the next few steps include confession, and an attempt at making amends (in the spirit of Romans 12:18 "as far as it depends on me"), and then, it requires new thoughts and a new heart. All of this is part of learning the kind of love that Jesus has for all of us. How good it is that we have a teacher (Jesus....not Gibbs!) who is always more willing to teach, lead, and infill us than we can fathom
It is not a shock that Jesus includes this essential request as part of the prayer that he taught his disciples: "forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us."
We need that prayer and the repeated reminder that resources for forgiveness come from Jesus.
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