i-idiots

Am I the only one on the planet that has trouble syncing an i-pod?!

After having asked for one for the last two Christmases...I finally got an i-pod. I absolutely love it! Within a few hours of owning it, I put almost 2,000 songs on it. A lot of these were crazy sound bites that were stashed on my computer un-be-knownst to me.

Will's grandparents and his mother (Joyce) have been with us since last Saturday. We have had a wonderful time with them.

Grandpa enjoyed the i-pod as much as anyone. He wasn't able to help me sync it though!!! RATS.

Christmas Fun

Basil was given a toy that she left at Joyce, my mother-in-law's house last Christmas. It is a sock monkey. Now, as you can see from the video, it has been reduced to fluff.

Who could resist such Christmas fun?

Ice

The sun is shining and the snow and ice look like they should be melting. After cancelling church this morning, we are hoping to have the parking lot clear enough so that people will not slip and slide....break something, etc!

Here is a picture of the ice hanging from the awning on the front of the church building. After venturing out early this morning in order to figure out about the weather, I stayed in the house until I went out to take pictures of the snow and ice.

I'm totally glad we cancelled church because even with boots on I was slipping and slidding!

Patience with the weather

Today is a sleet-snow day and I am finally making time to blog.

I would like to hear some comments about that last blog and would welcome all....any....comments about patience. Obviously this video is very ammature. Nancy O. who was running the video camera didn't even know that she really had video capabilities on her camera. Brian O., her husband, was caught totally unaware that we were going to video him and he is a bit camera shy;) All of that being said, I really appreciate their help.

Ironically enough, this is one of the texts for tomorrow and who knows if I will even have the opportunity to preach cause it is snowy and icy and they are predicting that it will be getting even worse. So, at this very moment, I am feeling a bit impatient about the weather.

The text (NRSV): "Be patient, therefore, beloved, until the coming of the Lord. The farmer waits for the precious crop from the earth, being patient with it until it receives the early and late rains. You must also be patient. Strengthen your hearts, for the coming of the Lord is near."

What kinds of things try our patience? How does one become patience? What does strength have to do with patience? Does this strength come from us or is it given to us by God.

James 5:7-11

The Wonder of it All

The sanctuary here was splendidly decorated by a couple of women. The carpet is burgundy and the chair and pew cushions are mauve. There are a few small trees that line the sides in the nave. The tall flowers just behind us are dahlias which I never would have associated with Christmas before but I really like them. It is gorgeous with the lights dim and the trees and cross lit as well as the cross. It captures a small amount of the wonder of advent.

FALL is here!

Fall color! It makes me want to be outside with a camera all day. The funny thing is that pictures never really capture the beauty of it.

I found this on my coffee

The Way I See It #270

Taste is subjective. Taste is democratic. Taste is powerful. Taste – the combination of texture, aroma, temperature, aesthetic and environment – is also a window into someone else’s life or culture. Be confident in your taste, but remain curious and expose yourself to new tastes. Allow your taste to constantly evolve and grow – while keeping and cherishing the memories that taste creates.
-- Marcus SamuelssonChef, co-owner of Restaurant Aquavit and author of The Soul of a New Cuisine

Preaching and Living the Jonah Story

A couple days ago I preached the Jonah story. I told the whole story during my sermon which is not really that unusual for me cause I love to summarize (perhaps even “dramatize”) Biblical stories and none other lends itself to such things better than Jonah.

Here are some details that might have not caught your attention: Notice that we are only given one little episode of Jonah’s life. Notice that we know so very little about the actual person. Notice that it does not end on a bright and cheery note. Notice that it should not be considered a story for children due to it’s graphic nature-violence, adult situations (Jonah considers committing suicide), and perhaps language (since Jonah did have some interesting interactions with sailors). Notice also that Jonah was perhaps one of the most successful evangelists (given the extensive nature of the repentance that happened in Nineveh….everyone, even the rulers of the people turned) in the Bible, but ended up angry and alone. Although most of these details make the book tragic and sad, they also make us laugh because they reflect so much of what we know about human beings….even ourselves if we are brave enough to admit it!

Jonah put a message out to the Ninevites. It says that Jonah should give them the message that he receives from God (3:2). The reader is never privy to the content of the message. We only hear what the Ninevites hear (3:4) “forty days more, and Nineveh shall be overthrown.” It seems to be an abbreviated message. It seems to just be a threat….it only implies that they should turn to God and be spared. The people of Nineveh believe God. They literally throw themselves at God’s mercy.

The huge irony that has left me baffled and a detailed that I failed to even mention as I preached it is found in this. Jonah prays it right in 2:8 (New Living Translation): “Those who worship false idols, turn their backs on all God’s mercies” or (NIV) “Those who cling to worthless idols forfeit the grace that could be theirs.”

His words seem to be right, but his heart is a long ways from right. His lips wrote a check that his legs couldn't cash. He was serving God on his terms not on God’s terms. (See Matthew 15:8 also Isaiah 29 saying: “these people honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me.”)

And our friend Jonah is sulking under a withered plant. Could it be that Jonah had forfeited grace and mercy. What was his worthless idol? What are ours?

Celebrating Accidents

A very popular Italian district of Saint Louis called "the Hill" is the home of a famous eatery called "Cunettos." I learned (Rachel Ray's Tasty Travels is the source) that Cunetto's famous fried ravioli was actually discovered by accident. Easy to picture, the ravioli is set a little to close to the grease pit and oooops with the knock of an elbow, you got fried ravioli!!! Sounds like a real tasty mistake to me. I wonder how the manger on duty acted toward the clumsy cook?!

Another thought about accidental food discoveries: have you ever had broccoli and guacamole? Don't laugh! It totally rocks. I discovered by accident when I thought I would drop the last couple pieces of broccoli into a taco salad that I was putting together. Now, there is no better match up. I even told Will that we should open a deli called BROC-GUAC cause it is so good it could go with anything. (if someone steals this idea, they MUST give me credit, if not money, for it)

A week ago today, all the schools and government offices around here (and perhaps everywhere else, but I have no evidence to prove or disprove this) were closed. The holiday was Columbus Day. He is one among many great people we now celebrate who had absolutely no intention of doing the things that they did. His "discovery" of the Americas was commonly thought of as failure in his day. Yet, in the long run, this little accidnet turns into something big and history is made. Other "greats" that happened to be at the right place at the right time and considered themselves more "accidental" leaders than intentional leaders are Harry S. Truman and Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Great testimonies to the randomness of life....you head out to do something and you accidentally discover your niche.

When I fall into something...make mistakes...accidentally discover my niche, am I gracious enough to see the humor and laugh at myself? Am I so aggravated that things did not go according to my plan that I fail to see the humor in it? Am I too prideful to admit that sometimes these accidents are God's way of throwing me curve balls and helping me enjoy the crazy game of life with which he graced me?

What do you say that we create a holiday....maybe even set aside a day every week that we intentionally regard mistakes as things to be celebrated!

Saint Louis Symphony Orchestra

Last evening, Will and two other friends of ours enjoyed a special night out on the city. It was such a massive treat to eat a scruptious meal, have good conversation with lots of laughter, and experience the pure delight of music.

This picutre is of the foyer at Powell Theatre. It is breathtaking. Look at the ornate celing with gold etching. The theatre used to be St. Louis Theatre and was constructed in 1925. It has always served a facility for live entertainment and for a time also served as a movie theatre. The last movie to be shown here was the Sound of Music. The Symphony Society purchased it through a generous $500,000 gift. The renovation of the building cost $2 million dollars. It is thought by some to be one of the world's finest concert halls.

The program included pieces by Rossini, Mendelssohn, Mozart, and Elgar. The Conductor, Nicholas McGegan radiated love for the music. His energy was electric and would have been entertaining even if the music was not.

What a wonderful evening in the city!

Sign You May Be Going too Fast

This is too good to not share. I got it in an e-mail.

A Hymn by Anne Steele

Here is a hymn written by Anne Steele written upon hearing the news of her fiance's death. "From its mving words, it is evident that she was able to bring her lament before God and receive solace from him." from Prayer and Worship, by Renovare, page 87.

When I survey life's varied scene
Amid the darkest hours
Sweet rays of comfort shine between
And thorns are mixed with flowers...

In grief and pains Thy sacred Word
(Dear solace of my soul!)
Celestial comforts can afford
And all their power control

When present sufferings pain my heart
Or future terrors rise
And light and hope almost depart
From these dejected eyes

Thy powerful Word supports my hope
Sweet cordial of the mind
And bears my faiting spirit up
And bids me wait resigned

And oh whatever of earthly bliss
Thy sovereign hand denies
Accepted at Thy throne of grace
Let this petition rise

"Give me a calm and thankful heart
From every murmur free
The blessings of Thy grace impart
And let me live to Thee

Let the sweet hope that Thou art mine
My path of life attend
Thy presence through my journey shine
And bless its happy end.

"Get Over it"

It has been a year since our initial onslaught of crime: the various burglaries and the destruction of our CRV by gun fire. It may be that it was coming upon the one year mark or a full moon or something, but here recently and very poignantly one day this week I felt the fear and anger and grief all come rushing back. Above is the picture of our demolished CRV, although the picture is not that clear, if you look closely you can see the windshield is totally shattered. Periodically when we were traveling the country I would see a CRV of similar color and year and feel grieved, but since living in Vandalia where there are only 2 CRVs and none that resemble my beloved "Lt. Dan" I rarely feel that. There are times when all of us hear certain words or see something or smell something that makes us recall something that once so dear.

Though I frequently become impatient with myself, chastising myself saying things like "get over it!" and tell myself that things are great here and life couldn't be better, etc..... I sometimes get a whiff of something in the air and cry like it was just yesterday. I grieve the loss of close friends and my beloved Heartlanders, my friends of the Great Plains Conference, the familiarity of Kansas City with all the arts, entertainment, restaurants, and sports, etc. There are so many dear things that I have lost that I will never get over. I will do my best to put them in perspective and trust that the Gentle Shepherd Jesus will lead me, comfort me and challenge me.

Take a Quiz to see how well you know me

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"In Stitches"

Please respond to this poll:

Would you remove your own stitches? Would you remove stitches for a loved one, child, spouse, friend?

Old State Capital

Our city's history goes back to the state's inception. Vandalia, Illinois is the oldest existing Capitol city which served the State of Illinois for 20 years, from 1819-1839. ( more Vandalia history can be found on the city web site http://www.vandaliaillinois.com/)

A couple of weeks ago, Alice, my mom and I went and toured the old state building. It is free to do so and we were all impressed at how authentic it looked. I was not actually alive during the 1830's but, the candles, basin and pitcher, and feather pens remind me that electricity, indoor plumbing, and instant communication have not always been with us.

The original capital building that was on this site was very small. This structure was build in 1836 and was red brick. The pilars and white paint are recent face lifts.

For you out of town folks, you are invited to come and check all of this out on your own and I would even accompany you to see all this fascinating history. We love having company and do not have any reservations for our guest accomodations for the holidays. Believe me, it is right around the corner!

Beautiful Basil

Here is a wonderful picture of Basil.

She is usually very ready for the camera. But this shot was taken by Christopher, Will's youngest brother, while they visited us last week. He was laying on the ground at the park shooting pictures. Very strange, indeed, but a perfect vantage point to get a close shot of beautiful Basil.

Historic Landmark Burns

On Labor Day, historic-train-depot-turned-restaurant burned to the ground. It was tragic!

http://www.leaderunion.com/articles/2007/09/07/news/01depotfire0906.txt

The whole article can can be found on Vandalia's paper. The link above will take you there or you can search for it on their web site.

I have not heard whether or not they will rebuild. I hope they do because the food was great (although we only ate there once for lunch). Yet, even if it is rebuilt, the landmark "historiocity" of it is gone forever. (I think I actually broke the caution tape taking this picture, but thank God I did not get arrested)

Fun with Family

The last few days have been filled with family fun. Brendan, Deanna, Jordan, Megan, Gabriel, Christopher, Lori, Kylar, and Kaiden came to visit us. We played at the park, explored Vandalia, grilled on our deck, and played games. This picture is from the park. The kids loved the merry-go-round and the adults remembered younger days when they could ride (and push) the thing without feeling nauseous.

BAD blogger!

I have no really good excuse. Someone once told me that excuses are useless cause your friends don't need to hear them and everyone else won't believe you. So, I hope that you are a good enough friend to accept my apology for being a very bad blogger and going a month without one post. So sorry! I will hold out my hands and wait for a "bad blogger" pat on the wrist.

Stay tuned this week, I have a goal of doing at least three blogs this week. It will have to be good cause I have been saving up.

Conversation regarding Christian Practices

During the summer when Parkview FMC had a few different people filling the pulpit and no appointed pastor, they went almost three months without celebrating the Lord's Supper.

So, it seemed fitting that we celebrate this sacrament the first Sunday that I was here. It also occurred to me in the midst of this that there is not a lot of appreciation regarding our practice of the "Lord's Supper."

From this point on, I thought it might be nice to bring people together and talk about it. We read one section of the liturgy, sit in silence for two minutes, then we ask questions. It is sometimes very difficult for people to ask questions instead of making propositions. Yet, in spite of a bit of discomfort, there are a lot of great questions. I like this format because it helps all of us look at the words as if for the very first time and ask God to speak to us through them. It is a good exercise in discovery! And great fun!

Settling in Vandalia

This is now my kitchen. This room along with most of the house is practically new. It has new plumbing, electric, a/c, appliances, windows, flooring, cabinets, doors, fixtures, and paint. It is absolutely fabulous!

We moved our stuff from the basement to the main floor Saturday night with the help of at least ten men. It was almost frightening the intensity that these men displayed! We kicked everyone out around 3:30 p.m. and began unpacking and settling in.

Saturday evening we slept in our own bed. One man at church said something like "what was it like sleeping in your own bed after having been a gypsy for 10 weeks?" My reply: "unbelievably good!"

Sunday was my first Sunday in the pulpit. We celebrated the Lord's Supper during worship and had a enormously scrumptious pot luck after church. The church also showered us with a lot of food to stock our new pantry.

"YA'LL are invited to come and see!"

The Lake House

Will, Basil and I arrived here in Vandalia, IL on Thursday sometime after 11 p.m.

For the next few days, we will be staying right on the lake. A couple at Parkview, Ann and Marty, have allowed us the use of their greyhound-bus-converted-into-an-RV. Pictured above are a couple of shots of Basil who jumps into the bus driving seat any old time she wants. (Enlarge them to see the details more clearly.)

All of our belongings are stored in the basement of the parsonage. A huge thanks goes to the fifteen people who arrived to help unload it! We are grateful for God's blessings: a safe and relatively stress free move, new friends that have helped and welcomed us as one of their own, a newly renovated parsonage that we will occupy in just a number of days. God is good!

Anniversary of George Brett's Pine Tar Incident

Tonight, Will and I went to Kaufman stadium to say good-bye to the Royals. Pictured here is the free t-shirts that the first 20,000 fans received (of coarse we got them) to celebrate the anniversary of George Brett's pine tar incident.

They played the video of the incident at the game and this is basically what happened: George Brett hit a home run, circled the bases, sat down in the dug out. Then the umps pick up his bat and begin conferencing about the amount of pine tar he had rubbed on it. (FYI- pine tar looks like tar and is something that some folks put on their bats in order to have a better grip and it would have absolutely no affect on how far you could hit the ball) They soon announce that the home run was illegal, no good because there was too much pine tar on George's bat. The angle of the camera was just right to see George storm out of the dug out and attempt an attack on the umps. Weeks later, MLB announces that the umps were wrong and the home run was legal.

Now, we have t-shirts that look smudged with pine tar!

It was a sad evening for several reasons: Kaufman was filled to the gills, but most of the fans were cheering for the Yankees.....those around us were actually looking down their noses at us as we cheered for our home team. The Yankees won 9-4! So long, farewell to the Kansas City Royals. We have enjoyed borrowing you as a favorite team for these last six years. We will miss you.

House

Please buy this house! Anybody?! We are practically giving it away! All it needs is some love.

http://www.prukc.com/xq/ASPX/MLSNum.1380852/qx/HomeSearch/Listing.htm

The Countdown

The first three days of this week, we were in Chicago enjoying the EP Gathering. It was a great time conversing about Christian Formation in Congregations. Monday evening we played hooky from the Gathering and went to Wrigley Field. I'm working on getting a picture posted here for everyone to envy. It was everything people say about Wrigley.....the fans were out of this world enthusiastic!

Wednesday we traveled through IL and made a quick stop to have dinner and conversation with some lay leaders from Parkview.

Now, we are in Kansas City for just a few days to pack and clean! And SELL OR RENT this house that occupies the corner of 26th and Garfield in Kansas City, KS. I have not been calling the place "home" for most of the summer. It no longer feels like home to me. When we stay here, it feels more like we are visiting and camping.

The countdown is on. Five days! Our days of wandering are about over and we are ready. We are ready to learn lots of new names. We are ready to cook meals and sleep in our own bed. Like, the exiles that returned from Babylon, our eyes, ears, and hearts are wide open. We know that God is making the way for us...."You shall go out in joy, and be led back in peace; the mountains and the hills before you shall burst into song, all the trees of the field shall clap their hands. Instead of the thorn shall come up the cypress; instead of the brier shall come up the myrtle; and it shall be the Lord for a memorial, for an everlasting sign that shall not be cut off." (Isaiah 55:12-13)

Again with the Mud Hens

Another thing: 5th/3rd Field is wonderful. It is located right downtown. Some folks were watching from their hotel window across the street. This was 116th sell out game, no wonder, it was such a ROCKIN time.

Mascots

Pictured here are some team mascots that we have watched recently.

On Friday night, we were in Toledo and watched the Mud Hens. Toledo knows baseball. The game was sold out and there were over 10,000 people in attendance. Practically every person we saw had a shirt or cap on proudly displaying this mysterious mascot of theirs. There must be more Mud Hens fans in Toledo than Royals fans in Kansas City.....and they are a AAA minor league team. We ate at the legendary Tony Packo's right across from the park and were stunned at how fantastic the food was! Thanks Toledo, this was an awesome baseball experience. If anyone reading this knows what a "mud hen" actually is....please, we are dying to know.

The next evening, we went to a Ft. Wayne Wizards game. The opponent team was the Cedar Rapids Kernels (corn that is!) We absolutely loved this mascot that sometimes I cheered for them just for fun. This is A baseball, but it made for an exciting game cause people would successfully steal bases and miss the ball and even hit some home runs. The fans were very relaxed and pretty much never cheered with the exception of this one six year old girl behind us that was screeeeeeching at the top of her lungs and the worlds decibel level "strike the turkey out!"

Tonight, I am chilling in my motel room and Will is taking in a Northern League game in Joliet. Joliet, IL, Jackhammer! Gary, Indiana Railcats are their opponents.

I was talking to one of my friends who just moved to Lansing, MI and they have a minor league team named the Lugnuts. I was commenting to her that it seemed like a funny mascot and she said: "You think that's bad, Centralia, IL High School teams are the Orphans!"

So, I want to open the conversation up to all sports fans, please send a comment here to my blog stating what the most interesting, mysterious, or humorous mascot that you have come accros.

Conference Craziness

General Conference is not an occasion that you would think would be jam packed with hilarity. Yet, strangely, it was for us. For instance,in the middle of a relaxed conversation, Joe bolts out of his seat, hurtles and cracks a coffee table and goes to pretend to sing. We had no idea what got into him. He was pretending to sing and dance at this exhibit. His wife says: "you haven't ever heard Joe sing for real, have you?......well, everyone knows that he cannot sing."

Another irony: on the same day that David Kendall (our first ever Bisphop to be elected as a "lead" Bishop- who knows- not even he knows exactly what this means!) preached a message that was infused by the power of the Holy Spirit and was about our being ready for the wind and the fire of God to once more consume the church there was a golf cart that caught fire. I saw it but was not thinking clearly enough to have my camera ready for it, so you can see pictures of it on the fmcna.org site.

Another detail that tickled my funny bone was Will and I waking up one morning with a group of cattle in the field next to our tent (about 10 feet away)staring and moooooowing at us.

General Conference of the FMCNA

Will and I are in Spring Arbor, Michigan for the "quadranium" (meaning every four years, I think) gathering of Free Methodists from all over the country and some international locations as well.

It is such a joy to meet many strangers-turned-friends in these days. We re-connected with folks that we haven't seen since we were in college. We also discovered that Will's second cousin is married to a woman who grew up in the Parkview FMC, the place where we will be moving very soon.

As we have told the story of our lives over the last years, it is clear now more than ever how God has been with us. Being reconnected with these old roots serves as a reminder that we are not traveling this journey alone. We have such a great cloud of witnesses that surround us. They sometimes pose as strangers....other times as only aquantances, and other times close friends.

Hopefully, if my technology is cooportative, I will post a picture or two here soon.

Bohnoeffer on Strangers

Here is a thought from Bonhoeffer that I thought was very fitting addition to my previous ponderings regarding strangers turning into friends.

"We are separated from one another by an unbridgeable gulf of otherness and strangness which resists all our attempts to overcome it by means of natural association or emotional or spiritual union. There is no way from one person to another. However loving and sympathetic we try to be, however sound our psychology however frank and open our behaviour we cannot penetrate the incognito of the other man, for there is no direct relationships, not even between soul and soul. Christ stands between us, and we can only get into touch with our neighbors through Him."

Since when do Pitchers bat?

I am new to this stuff called blogging but when we got this great picture of Roberta and I at Coors Field in Denver I knew I had to say something...and all I gotta say is when did the pitchers start batting? For all you non baseball fans, there is a National League and an American League and in one the leagues the pitchers bat and in the other they do not and the Kansas City Royals are in the one that the pitchers do not but since we are moving to the St Louis Cardinals area and they are in the other league it is good that I got acclaminated to pitchers who bat. The Colorado Rockies pitcher who we saw bat had a great hit but then turned ankle when he rounded third base and had to be pulled out of the game. Is this why pitchers don't bat???? -Will

Longing for more beauty

"The sweetest thing in all my life has been the longing...to find the place where all the beauty came from." C.S. Lewis

I remember the first night that we camped in the mountains in Utah, I was kept awake almost the whole night by the beauty of our surroundings. The moon was just shy of full and made the place bright. The white aspen bark glowed. The reflection of the brightness on the lake and the millions of stars shining was more beauty than I could soak in....even staying up most of the night.

Each evening as we prepared and ate dinner around the fire, up to 15 deer would gather in the field between the water and our site. They were gracefully eating and interacting with one another. Their beauty was also captivating.

These things always serve as a reminder to me that God is big, living, and the master artist. I will forever long for more beauty and long for the originator of this beauty.

"As a deer longs for flowing streams, so my soul longs for you, O God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When shall I come and behold the face of God?" (Psalm 42:1-2) and another Psalm that has been working on me: "O God, you are my God, I seek you, my soul thirsts for you; my flesh faints for you, as in a dry and weary land where there is no water." (Psalm 63:1)

Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing

In the last few weeks, Will and I have attended many different sorts of churches in many different places. From an indepedent-almost-charismatic, United Methodist, Episcopal, Presbyterian, and Free Methodist...they were all fascinating and offered something nutritious for the soul. Particularly interesting was that almost every one of them sang this wonderful hymn "Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing."

As we have been wandering and discovering strangers turned into friends all along the way, I found these words resonating with my soul. My prayer in the last few days has been that more than anything God would allow me to be bound to Him. That our time of wandering would be directed toward God and that our foot steps would be envoloped in God's grace and goodness.

The picture is from one of the trails that we took. The trail went along side a creek and was packed with Aspen trees. Yet, every so often, there would be a clearing that was just packed with these wild daisies. Such beauty tucked away. One more spot along the way that calls out praise to God, the greatest artist of all!

Here is the version of the hymn by Robert Robinson that is printed in my prayer book:
Come thou fount of every blessing,
Tune my heart to sing Thy grace;
Streams of mercy never ceasing
Call for songs of loudest praise.
Teach me some melodious sonnet,
Sung by flaming tongues above;
Praise the mount - I'm fixed upon it -
Mount of Thy redeeming love.

Here I'll raise mine Ebenezer,
Hither by Thy help I've come;
And I hope, by Thy good pleasure,
Safely to arrive at home.
Jesus sought me when a stranger,
Wandering from the fold of God;
He, to rescue me from danger,
Interposed His precious blood.

O to grace how great a debtor,
Daily I'm constrained to be!
Let Thy goodness, like a fetter,
Bind my wandering heart to Thee:
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,
Prone to leave the God I love;
Here's my heart, O take and seal it;
Seal it for Thy courts above.

More pictures from Utah

Today is actually our first day back in a city. Moab didn't have adequate internet juice to publish my blog. So, I actually wrote that blog on Saturday and worked with no success for at least two hours to publish it. Now, we are in Denver. But, I still have many things to blog about Utah and our other wilderness experiences.

The large arch picture actually has something hidden therein. You may have to zoom! It's like the game where's Waldo, but now, it is where's Willie? Let me know if you find him.

Canyonlands

Will and Basil and I have been in the Canyonlands region on Utah for almost a week now. That seems like a long time (for us to stay in one place anyway). Yet, in order to see and do all that there is here, it would take weeks.

We have spent a couple of days at an inn in Moab that is small but sweet. They allowed us to store this computer monitor that Will purchased at the local thrift store for $5. They are also very accommodating to Basil as long as we do the poopy scooping.

Three nights we camped at one of the most unbelievably gorgeous spots in the country (though I am prone to exaggeration and often say "this is the pretty place on the planet!" I am really not, here. Look for yourself at the picture. We pitched our tent there! That was the view from our tent's front flap!

We hiked a lot of trails. Some were short, for instance Burro Pass was only 3.4 miles. It was rated a "D" for difficult on our trail map. Another one we ventured onto was also rated a "D" but once we were up the first ridiculously steep incline with a breathtaking view on the mountains and canyons, we realized that the trail disappeared. It was no where to be found. Even Basil, the great trail blazin' dog that she is was unable to locate it. And we then couldn't really find the trail to go down! WOW, getting back down that mountain was something to write home about....except I would never tell my mother because she has a severe agoraphobic side and I can just hear her now saying "don't you know you could have gotten yourself killed!" It was an amazing experience. One that I am grateful to have lived through, but do not relish repeating!

Rising from the Ashes

"You take this big, barren, chunk of wood that doesn't look like its good for anything except maybe to cut up and burn for firewood, and you start chiseling away at it, and, little by little, something starts forming. And in the end, something beautiful is made out of something that other people might see as worthless. I feel like our lives are shaped that way."

Immediately, I thought of these works of art being a parallel for our lives. The most wounded, brused, and seemingly useless human material.....us, God chooses to transform into beauty! I see this same thing happen over and over. God's main business is transforming the hurt and grief in our lives into something else. Our lives are shaped by God. Yet, sometimes it feels like fire that burns away everything that we hold dear. Sometimes, it feels like a chainsaw at work on us, removing the things that are diseased or unhealthy. Sometimes, it is the gentle hand of God shaping our hurt, smoothing over the rough places and giving us a story that we can share in order to bless others. Whatever the case may be, God calls us to be his handiwork so that the world will know what God has done for us.

The chainsaw artist, Mark Chavez, spoke these words in an interview with a reporter from the Albuquerque Tribune. He was one of the firefighters that helped put out the fire that happened in the bosque in the summer of 2003. There are now four carved sculptures done by Mark at Pueblo Montano. The cottonwood trees that were part of the fire and now beautiful beacons in the Bosque that will bless many for generations. (see more at: http://www.cabq.gov/openspace/pdf/305.PDF )

What amazing beauty can come where there was once only damage and destruction!

Man Cannot Live on Green Chiles Alone

McDonald's features the double green chile cheeseburger for only $.99! What a steal! So, even after we had that great ball park food, we couldn't resist splurging for some distinctively ABQ burgers.

Only in ABQ

Having been away from here for many years, I am enchanted by things that are distinctively New Mexico.

Sunday evening, we saw Albuquerque Isotopes (albuquerquebaseball.com) get absolutely slawtered by the Memphis Redbirds (ironically an affiliate team of the St. Louis Cardinals). The mascot is so adorable. One ABQ distinctive feature is the race around the bases in which the red chile, green chile, and taco see which can make it to home plate first. My sister says that the two chiles are mean to the taco, but she cheers for green chile anyway. It just so happened, that Will and I had gone to get some food right before this race. "I cannot believe they have posole at the ballpark" Will kept saying as I ordered a bowl and proceeded to enjoy it and accidently spill it down my leg and onto my sock and shoe. (Posole is a traditional New Mexico stew containing a hominy type corn, chile, pork, and spices) The red chile reminants on my leg and sock became quiet a treat from Basil later on that evening. When we returned to our seats, the chiles and taco were running the bases and I felt compelled to root for the red chile because I was in the midst of consuming some of the most tasty ball park cuisine in the country....red chile posole. Can you believe that they have it at the ball park? Only in the Land of Enchantment!

Another thing that is so distinctively NM is the tumble weeds. See the one that my sister is displaying, it is huge but not at all the biggest that I have seen.

The Land of Enchantment

Will, Basil and I drove to New Mexico on Wednesday. We left OK City in the morning knowing that out of all the drives in the country, this may be the most dreadful. I am typically "enchanted" by most scenery and enjoy road trips because of this. But the drive from OK City to Albuquerque, NM is less than enchanting. Also, that day was particularly dreadful because of the 50 mile per hour winds. Our Toyota Corolla was not staying on the road and Will has been suffering with some of the "ear, nose, chest" crud.
I even remember this drive from my childhood.

My family used to travel to Oklahoma a lot when I was growing up. One of the things that usually occupies my mind when driving this stretch nowadays is all those early road trips. We would visit in the winter and one time, we got caught in a huge snow storm in Amarillo. A few other times, we went and visited a sick and then dying aunt in Pampa, TX. That road takes me back to those days.

So,we are now in Albuquerque and have been spending time with family. Today is a special day in that my nephew Tristan is graduating from pre-school.....cap and gown and all!

I will post pictures later cause there are lots of enchanting people and things here.

BIG NEWS

"I alone know the plans I have for you...plans to bring about the future you hope for." Jeremiah 29:11

After many days, weeks, months of praying and waiting on God, we finally have an idea about what our future holds. Just as this scripture says, God does promise to bring those things we hope for. We have had to believe this against many odds. Today, we heard that we will be moving to Vandalia, IL. I will be the pastor of Parkview Free Methodist Church beginning in August.

We visited the church and met some folks there on Saturday. The Leadership Summit of the Gateway Conference inspired us. It was amazing how many people we knew there and we felt very welcomed.

So, once again, we went into these situations feeling like strangers, but found that we were really among friends. We happened upon saints....notorious and respected Free Methodists that we had only known previously in history books (such as Bob Cranston)....and some other ordinary yet no less respected saints such as Eric Watterson.

The saints that housed us were Karl and Deb Somerville. I like to call their house that was built circa 1915 the "Somerville Resort." The woodwork that is typical for that time period was gorgeous. They also showered us with great hospitality including Starbucks coffee. The picture here is the scrumptious "Strawberry Shortcake" made with the old fashioned Bisquick recipe. It was modified and made with Splenda just for me. OUT OF THIS WORLD good.

I do feel blessed to have such a great assembly of saints surrounding us. I think of those who have blessed my life in the past and those who I have recently encountered that have blessed my life, and I even feel blessed in knowing that God will bless us with even more new saints in the future.

Pictures from OK

Here are a couple pictures from Oklahoma. I spoke of that strange dirt and this is a great picutre of how red the dirt is. Also, the clouds and sunset are amazing. We have put hundreds of miles on our car in the last week.

The Things that Make for Peace

Yesterday, Will, Joyce and I went to the Oklahoma City Memorial. The museum, the chairs, the crains,the reflecting pool, the Jesus' weeping statue by the Catholic church and the survivor tree (pictured here) are all spectacular sites. (Please excuse the crazy looks on our faces...look beyond us, though and see the momument that has 9:01 on it, the moment before the blast at 9:02).

It is a must see for any person of faith. I had visited the museum a couple years back and was most moved by the children's choir singing "let there be peace on earth and let it begin with me" at the exit. This was not part of it this time, but the message is still clear that this memorial is about what each and every single one of us can do to promote peace and reconciliation in our world.

The statue of Jesus weeping refernced the shortest verse in scripture, John 11:35. Jesus weeps at the tomb of his friend Lazarus. It is a moving passage and one that reminds us of Jesus compassion (suffering with others who suffer).

Jesus weeps at other times in scripture. The one that I was thinking of when I saw this statue was Luke 19 as Jesus approaches the city for the last time. He is facing rejection and death. v. 42-46: "And he came near and saw the city, he wept over it, saying, 'if you, even you, had only recognized on this day the things that make for peace! But now they are hidden from your eyes. Indeed, the days will come upon you, when your enemies will set up ramparts around you and surround you, and hem you in on every side. They will crush you to the ground, you and your children within you, and they will not leave within you one stone upon another; because you did not recognize the time of your visitation from God."

I often ponder the things that make for peace. What exactly was Jesus speaking of here? Was he weeping because he longed for the pompous religious folks to admit that they did not have all the answers? Was he weeping because they and many others did not recognize Him as the Christ? What causes Jesus to weep as He looks over our neighborhoods and world?

The trouble with flowers

Today my mother in law Joyce and I planted lots of wonderful flowers.

The only trouble is that we left the water running on them for at least 2 hours longer than necessary. Now they are floating down the ditch in front of the house.

The soil here in Oklahoma is very interesting....I think it is part sandy clay and part, well something unidentifyable! It has been very wet and when we were putting the soil back in the holes after planting, it globbed together so much that it was like cookie dough.

The other trouble we had with flowers had to do with changing my profile picture here on blogger. I changed the template of my blog and now I needed a picture for my profile that matched. So, we wanted something like flowers. Now adding this was an ordeal. This blogger for dummies book says that blogger makes it "outrageously complicated...cumbersome and user hostile insufficiency." But it did not get the best of us. As you see, we found flowers and a nice textile background that matches just fine.

Hospitality "Revisited"

Our host and hostess during the last four days of our trip were so wonderful. Greg, our host, we met for the first time on Friday and by our parting on Monday morning, I felt that he had actually become a good friend. The hours we spent with them were rich with conversations about how God works in our world and lives, family, church, and moving. They made a huge move from the Seattle area to the midwest just last year. Though they probably do not realize it, the things that they shared with us about their recent move helped us navigate the complexities of our move. Greg also made the best coffee...."French Press" style. I also loved playing "hand and foot" with them in the evenings. We are so grateful to them for entertaining us. They are truly a huge blessing.

This picture is of three baby birds on the window sil at their house. They are longing for food. For a time, they will make their home precariously perched on a narrow ledge. They too are relying on the hopsitality of strangers. They too have to trust in another....and even many others to nurture them and provide for them. I wonder if trusting and not worrying comes easy to these birds. I wonder about my own ability to trust in the one who says: "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, or what you will drink, or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air; they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them...So do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring worries of its own. Today's trouble is enough for today." Matthew 6:25, 26, 34.

Another Short List of Strangers

A waitress at the IHOP was so kind to give me Splenda out of her personal stash from her purse. I knew by this that she was among the kind strangers that we would meet. I asked her: "is this a nice neighborhood?" and she said "oh, yes, I stay just right over here, close enough to walk, but of coarse I drive." I then said, "is there a lot of crime here, like a crack house every other block." She says: "oh, no definately not. This is one of the best neighborhoods. My kids go to school over here."

Another waitress when asked the same question answered: "I am not trying to sound racist, but this area is really going down hill. My parents want to move because it's gotten so bad....I'm not trying to tell you what to do, but I don't think you should move to this part of town."

Yet another person, the cab driver, says "I wouldn't live in that part of town because the police are racist." Then continued, "it's a conservative area of town, lots of people move their to raise their families and they basically keep to themselves....you have to be assertive in order to make friends there."

It is amazing that three different people can have such a huge variety of opinions on one part of town. As strangers traveling through and observing for ourselves, we felt a warm welcome by the locals and given all that we saw thought it may be a nice place to live. They seem rather open to tolerating strangers.

A Short List of Strangers We Met along the Way

Traveling this way makes it necessary to rely on strangers. As we have intentionally become strangers, we realize how fearful our world has become. If we are not careful, we can encounter the stranger with suspicion and we could easily become afraid.

Bob and Karen Paisley are the masterminds of Metrapolitan Ensalmble Theatre (check out their website: www.METkc.org) here in Kansas City. We were enchanted by their production of Tenessee Williams' "A Streetcar Named Desire." Absolutely fabulous acting and directing! The final words resonate with me and sum up well our transition. As Blanch DuBois says: "I have always relied on the kindness of strangers." Although, Bob and Karen are not strangers to us , we have not known them that long and even so during our time away, they used our car. Theirs had been stolen. Examples of such non-sense abounds, but so do examples of great kindness. Now that we are back, they are borrowing someone else's vehicle for a while.

While visiting Chris and Lori at Oakdale Christian Academy in the hills of Kentucky, we were doing a short hike up a trail when we came upon a wild turkey and her young. Kylar, age 4 (in a couple days anyway) and Kaiden, age 2, Lori and I were startled at first. Lori did a crazy "scare the chicken" dance and I stood perfectly still after scooping Kaiden up into my arms. The wild turkey swawked and circled us hoping that we would get the message that we were not welcome strangers in his territory. Those baby turkeys were being protected from possible harm. We took the hint and slowly made our way back down the trail.

Another stanger that made me laugh was the woman taking our order at McDonalds. Clearly Chris and Lori are living as strangers in KY because they have not learned the native tongue and it took 4 tries....at least 10 minutes to order 3 items at McDonalds.

Now, we are back in KC for a couple days then we will go the the Great Plains Annual Conference. Yes, we will say goodbye to a lot of dear people...and even though we still have to decide where we will call home, we are still "going where we're going and we'll get there when we get there." These dear people were strangers six years ago and have become family. It causes me great grief.

Relying on the Kindness of Strangers

"In fact, when we stay in one place too long, we run the risk of holding too closely to the safely familiar centers of our existence. Our everyday life and the assumptions about the world implicit in it become opaque to us." by Roberta Bondi, from Traveling On, Weavings, Nov.-Dec. 1991

Chilly and Windy City

The first three hours of our mega bus journey was so cold! I was not adequately prepared for this. I packed only shorts and a sun dress and sandles. So when we stoped at a gas station Will offered his KC Royals pajama pants and I accepted. After that I actually slept for a while. At five o'clock in the morning the bus approched downtown Chicago and the sun was rising. It was beautiful.

We grabbed out bags and exited the bus onto the side walk. It was Sunday morning and nothing in Union Station was open. There was no where to buy coffee. We were on a search and conquer mission for a good breakfast and hot coffee. So, we hit the side walk and I was back in short again because I didn't really want to be roaming Chicago in KC Royals pijama pants. It was freezing. The few people who were on the streets had obviously spent the night there and they were much more adequately clothed than us.

The resturant that bragged that it made fresh pastries and the "world's best breakfast" was not open until 6 o'clock. Their hospitality was not the best either cause when Will popped his head in and asked where the closest Starbucks was or the closest place to get breakfast they said "we don't know."

There was another little shop around the corner with breakfast and then just one more block down was the Starbucks. So, we finally got hot coffee and breakfast....eight block walk and almost frozen!

Prayer of Thomas Merton

My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think that I am following your will does not mean that I am actually do so. But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire. And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road though I may know nothing about it. Therefore will I trust you though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for you are with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.

Fallow Ground

"Sometimes when I'm feeling powerless, I go crazy and color my hair." Responds a friend of mine when I asked her about her new red hair. It looks good that way and I wondered why she did it. I replied back to her, "like when I feel powerless, I want to plant rose bushes."

Really planting anything makes me feel better. It is less than 36 hours until we leave Kansas City and I am baking. What a bizarre thing to do before a 18 hour road trip! Dying our hair, planting beautiful things, and the sweet aroma and taste of fresh baked cookies.....all of these things may be ways to maintain our sanity when we really feel out of control.

I am a recovering control freak. Really trusting that God is in control is not easy. I am frequently impatient and frustrated by the fact that we are virtually letting go of one place before we know what our next place will be. Most people really do think we are nuts. Most days I think we are nuts.

On the other hand, this little time that I have away from pastoring is going to my sabbath rest. It is a biblical principle. Every seventh year, the Hebrew people were told to leave their ground fallow.....that means do not plant, water, reap anything from the ground. Rest, breath, worship and trust that God will take care of your life. This was SO difficult for the Hebrew people that they came up with an extraordinary and exhaustive list of things that one could and could not do during sabbath rest. I think that baking, dying your hair, and planting shrubs are all NOT permissable during sabbath rest. (if you are one who knows for sure, please respond so that we will all be better informed)

Now, I am wondering as I smell the muffin's aroma rising from my oven, how will I handle the next few weeks without an oven to bake in and without a yard to plant. Will I find that God is in fact in control when my ground is left fallow?

Golden Fields and Getting Home Quick

The picture does not do it justice! Last week, I was the temporary receptionist at MacDon in Kansas City, MO. This is the mural in the gigantic entry way of that building. With the four panels together, the thing is at least 25 in length and 10 foot in height.

This company manufactures farm equipment. You should check out their web site (www.macdon.com) to see the first in it's class Dual Direction windrower. The larger engine makes it possible to do work in the field faster than ever and then when you are done for the day, you pull a lever, turne the steering wheel and BOOM, you are facing the other direction and able to make it back home at speeds up to 23 miles an hour.

Maybe you have seen those large tractors that take up most of the the two lane road in the farming communities in Kansas. You know that it is frustrating to get caught behind of one of those going home. Now just think if it were you behind the wheel....you would really happy to be able to now go 23 miles per hour.

In general, farmers have a great appreciation for the land. Most of us know the feeling of being stuck behind one of these machines on two lane Kansas roads. I'm sure that that 2 minutes felt like forever! My challenge to you: next time you get caught behind one of these machines, take that as your opportunity to appreciate the land: soak in the beauty of it, thank God for it and those who care for it, take a moment to pause, breath, and pray. We all could use a little bit more of that.

By the way, I got to sit behind the wheel of one of these machines.....now THAT rocked!

Kansas Beauty

I am a "transplant" from the desert southwest.

The first time I visited Kansas, I immediately fell in love with the endless fields of golden wheat. My camera was filled with over two rolls of film with pictures of these rolling plains. Awe inspiring and awesome is Kansas especially during the end of May when the wheat is ripe and golden.

I wish that those who have live here and taken the beauty of this land forever for granted would be able to get a glimpse of it from an outsiders perspective. Those who print t-shirts and travel suveneers would no longer print things that mimic the beauty of this land such as: "Kansas Road trip...electric pole, field, cow....electrical pole, field, cow...electrical pole, field, cow...Kansas, next time I think I will fly!" Those who see our land this way must be visually or spiritually impared. They do not see the beauty with which God has God has graced us. They really do not see Kansas.

It seems earth day made the news this year more than most. I've been wondering if this recent "greening" of the public conscience is going to be a fad or a lasting appreciation for the earth. The green grass, the rich black dirt, the fields of golden are God's gifts to us.

I will miss Kansas.

Leading Us Home

We are packing up and preparing for our journey. More than ever, I am identifying with folks that we read about in scripture who literally dropped everything and followed. Not only that, but the people of God in the Old Testament were so often being re-located from one place to another. The scriptures are packed with the journey language.

Here is a little bit of it from Psalm 25 (Message): "Lead me down the path of truth. You are my Savior, aren't you?...God is fair and just; He corrects the misdirected, Send them in the right direction. He gives the rejects a hand, and leads them step by step...If I keep my eyes on God, I won't trip over my own feet."

For some reason, God is not letting us see the journey's end....nor the middle even! Yet, however frustrating that reality may be, God holds our hand and leads us one step at a time. This is the truth that I am leaning into.

We are going where we're going

We sent a lot of invitations to our farewell party. Most folks only responded "where are you going?" They didn't even say whether or not they would attend our party.

Though we have a few promising prospects regarding jobs, it is not at all in concrete. We know that we will be leaving Kansas City in the middle of May and for a while we will be traveling.

Our first adventure will be aboard MEGA Bus. We will visit our brother-sister-in-law and kids in Kentucky. The bus trip will take us through Missouri, into Illinois, stop briefly in Chicago then all the way through Indiana and land us in Louisville, KY.

We are going to be living by faith in a real way. We really are going where we are going and we'll get there when we get there. We are on a journey....a sojourn....on an adventure. We have only the hope of a future home calling and we know that we are always at home in God's love. Here is one of my favorite prayers by Henri Nouwen that says it best: "Dear God, I do not know where you are leading me. I do not even know what my next day, my next week or my next year will look like. As I try to keep my hands open, I trust that you will put your hands in mine and bring me home. Thank you God for your love. Thank you. Amen."

I will be writing my travel-blog here, so watch out!

Emptying Out Pockets

Nowadays when I empty out my pockets after working in a garden center all day, I find all sorts of strange things. I remember that Will, my husband, used to complain about plant clippings filling my pockets. "Do you have to collect all these dead flowers in your pockets....don't they have garbage cans at that store."

Yes there are garbage cans at most stores. I have learned to carry a bag around with me when I prune and dead-head plants. Hence, my pockets are less cluttered and green when I go home at night.

This last Sunday, we heard a sermon challenging us to stop collecting. It was such a fitting message for us right now.

We are packing up everything in our house. As embarrassing as it may be, I have to admit that we have fallen into the sin of "pack-rattedness." It is so difficult to sort through all the stuff that has such emotional attachments. It is hard to empty drawers and find cards and letters from beloved friends whom are staying behind here in Kansas City while we journey to our next destination.

Among the things that I empty from my pockets every evening are sticky notes of paper with scripture on them. I carry these texts around with me as a form of meditating while I work. I read, remember, ponder these all day long. It's a tangible way for me to stay attached to the only thing that I am not in danger of losing....God's presence!

Here are a few of my most recent favorites: Isaiah 41:13 "For I, the Lord your God, will hold your right hand; it is I who say to you 'Do not fear, I will help you."
Psalm 126:5-6 "May those who sow in tears reap with shouts of joy. Those who go our weeping, bearing the seed for sowing, shall come home with shouts of joying, carrying their sheaves."
Psalm 33:18-19 "Truly the eye of the Lord is on those who fear hem, on those who hope in his steadfast love, to deliver their soul from death, and to keep them alive in famine."
Psalm 34:3-4 (message) "God met me more than halfway, he freed me from my anxious fear. Look at Him, give him your warmest smile, never hide your feelings from Him.
Psalm 42 (bits and pieces from the Message) "These are the things I go over and over, emptying out the pockets of my life. I was always at the head of the worshiping crowd, right out in front, Leading them all, eager to arrive and worship.....(yet look at me now!) Why are you down in the dumps, dear soul? Why are you crying the blues? Fix my eyes on God-soon I'll be praising again. He puts a smile on my face. He's my God."

Good Friday

Over the last two months, I have been working part time as a vendor in the Garden Department at Lowe's Home Improvement warehouse. This last week was my first week working full-time at this job. As you may well know, I am a flower child and I love to dig in the dirt. What else could I even want than to dead head flowers, unload racks of beautiful blooming begonia (geraniums, gerbera daisies, hydrangea, etc), and organize the place to look it's very best.

The flip side of this job is not at all pleasant. It also so much parallels with my vocation as a minister of the Gospel of Jesus. I must witness death. As I have mentioned before on this blog, this last year has been one of a lot of death.

I wheeled a whole cart of beautifully bloomed out but dying impatiens into the store yesterday. The truck that brought them to our store was heated and as the carts were taken off the truck and put in very cold, almost freezing (the high temperature yesterday in KC was 41) garden center. Needless to say, these sweet little babies did not do that transition. They immediately looked distressed. I said to Phil, one of my bosses, "should we just put this whole rack back in the place where dead flowers go to die?" Phil said, "no, let's leave them here, maybe they will perk up. We will see what they look like tomorrow." So I replied, "You're going to give them 24 hours and then put them to death on good friday?"

For all of us witnessing the death of a loved one...especially one who is so beautiful and excellent, especially one who did nothing to deserve such pain and agony, Good Friday is both wonderful and scandalous. We know grief. But there is one man who lived such a beautiful life and died such a horrific death that all of history has been changed. Jesus is that man. Right after his death, his followers saw his life and death reflected in these words from Isaiah 53:3, "He was despised and rejected by others; a man of suffering and acquainted with grief; and as one from whom others hid their faces he was despised, and we held him of no account."

Now, this is good friday. It is good partly because when we look into the eyes of that one who suffered and died, we know that all of us have to die. We know that no one escapes death. Not one of us can escape grief. When we grieve, we are connected in a special way to this man of sorrow and grief.

Peace and Patience

Since my last post many months ago, my husband and I have suffered many tragic events. Our lab-rot Bernard was shot and killed. It has been hard to even look at the post with his picture on it and think about him having suffered such a tragedy. For almost ten years now, I have been learning the way of peace. I do not believe that violence is a way to bring about peace. This means that we do not own fire arms nor do we support our nation's hell-bent attitude toward war. Now, months later, at the beginning of December, our Honda CRV was totally obliderated by gun fire. Yes! It was shot 32 times with some sort of fire arm. Most folks we know, have said things such as, "boy, if that happened to me, I would be sitting on the front porch with a sawed-off shot gun!" Though, this reaction is something that seems appealing at at least sort of tempting, I remember that our calling is to peace and patience. It is not easy way that we choose, but the way of Jesus that we choose. Hauerwas says: "So we love order, even order that is based on illustions and self-deception. When we say we want peace, we mean we want order. Our greatest illustion and deception, therefore, is that we are a peacable people, nonviolent to the core. We are peaceable so long as no one disturbs our illusions. We are nonviolent as long as no one challenges our turf So violence becomes needlessly woven into our lives; it comes the warp on which the fabric of our existence is threaded. The order of our lives is built on our potential for violence....For it is a peace that is baced on the truth that requires we be hospitable to the ultimate stranger of our existence: God. God is sucha a stranger to us because we have chosen to live as if were our own masters. God thus comes challenging our fears of the order by forcing us to patiently wait while others tell us their story." The truth is that I realize my own knee-jerk reaction. I realize how tempting it is to take life into my own hands instead of waiting, hoping and praying on a God that remains so incomprehensible. I guess that is why for now, I will resist the temptation to sit on my front porch with a sawed off shot gun and will dp my best to press on. This schooling in peace is a little more intense than ever before. And I hope that my husband and I both can know the truth in all of it. I hope we can find peace and patience each day. Something else to consider: (Hauweras, continued) "Through repentance we thus learn to accept that our lives personally and socially were not meant to be tragic but joyful. And our joy is not that for which we hope, but is a present disposition that pervades our whole life. It is the presupposition of all the virtues. It is the discovery that we are not by nature liars and violent, but rightfully we are those who desire to know tht truth and to live at peace with ourselves, our neighbors, and most of all God. Joy thus becomes the disposition born of a hope based on our sense that it cannot be our task to transform the violence of this world into God's peace, for in fact that has been done through the cross and resurrection of Jesus. Our joy is the simple willingness to live with the assurance of God's redemption." May it be so with us!